Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
