Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Sober January is a disaster.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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