1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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