Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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