As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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