i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
