I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
