they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
tell me about the eggs
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