No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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