the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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