I hate your face
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
