just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
