So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
