google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
