I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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