It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
