omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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