I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
