I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
