My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
