Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
