Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
