Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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