I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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