What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
