Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
