i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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