I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
