why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize