I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
smell my finger.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
