My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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