last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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