I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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