I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
