i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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