how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
