your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
