The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
