the condom got lost in my hair
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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