The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
