he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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