I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
