I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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