The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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