maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
