do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
