i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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