"it" just moved
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
