my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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