watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
