can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
