so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
