Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
