things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
