So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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