If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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