you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
