you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
