im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
