I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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