Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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