I'm going to jail i love you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
