Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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