Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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