Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
