I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
