they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
