Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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